Dearest Media,

My name is Leroy Stick and I am the man behind @BPGlobalPR. First, let me begin by explaining my name.

When I was growing up, there was a dog that lived on my block named Leroy.  Leroy was a big dog with a disdain for leashes and a thirst for blood.  He made a habit of running around our block attacking anything he saw, biting my dad and my dogs basically whenever he had the chance.  He chased me a few times, but I always escaped because I was/am an amazing tree climber.

Anyhoos, after Leroy's second or third attack on my dogs, it became clear that the police and Leroy's owner weren't going to do anything to stop him, so my dad took matters into his own hands and came up with a brilliant invention: the Leroy stick.

The Leroy stick was, you guessed it, a stick. My dad carried an axe handle and I carried a plunger handle.  My dad told me two things about carrying the Leroy stick. First, if Leroy came near me or the dogs, I should hit him. Second, if I hit Leroy with my stick, I would not get in trouble. Was it legal? Probably not. Was it right?[...]

[Published in GreenNews - Read the original article]